Y. O. U

You came into my life ten years ago.
You came without me knowing who you were, but you didn’t care.
You kept on pushin’ yourself towards me, and tried as hard as you can to capture my heart.
You finally won.

You pleased me and showered me with love just to show me that you’re serious about it.
I began to feel happier being with you.

Years later, you put some struggles into my life.
I have no clue on how to react.
I complained and questioned you, “Didn’t you say you love me? But where are you when I need you most?”

I began to doubt you – your sincerity.

I cried.
I shouted.
I begged you to set me free from the troubles.

Somehow,
I could see you watching me, but you just didn’t say a word.

Then slowly – with your own way- you took me out of troubles.
You put rain and sunshine back into my days.
I started to happily walking with you again 😊

You tightly held my hands, seemed like you’re afraid of losing me.
It didn’t bother me, cos I’ve got the joy back by having you by my side.

But then,

I saw another guy across the road smiled at me,
I smiled at him back.

He began to say hi and created some conversations with me. I responded so.
He wanted to take me for a walk, but he saw me being held by your strong hands.

I asked you to let go off my hands, I wanna have fun.
You didn’t give it.

Felt tired, I gave up.

I let you to have my hands, but I drew my attention towards that guy.
I began to desire him.

We talked.
We walked.

I began to forget you.

Or maybe, I began to ignore you.

One day, the guy disappeared. I collapsed.
I needed him desperately cos I have changed my standards on his basis.
He couldn’t just leave me like this!

I cried.
I screamed.
It’s all just too scary!

I felt abandoned, I felt lonely.

There you were, kneeling down before me.
Said no word, but smiled.

Your eyes were telling me that you were there for me.
I cried even louder.

Mixed feeling of guilt and shame, I’m not dare to look at you.
I still cried.

You took my hands. Gently.
You lingered ’em around your waist, before you finally laid my head on your shoulder.
I cried.

I said, “Why? Why did you give me the guy whom I’m not allowed to be with?”

And you replied, “So that you know how much I want you to just be mine, gal.”

I cried.

***

It took years for me to understand what love is.
You brought me up to the hills and down to the valleys just so I could experienced your love.
There would be times when I made noises to you to give me smooth ways, even though you wouldn’t.

It’s okay.

I’ve learnt to walk with you, I’ve known – a little bit – on how to please you.
When you’re quiet, I’d better do so.
Otherwise, you’ll take me as a naysayer 😅

We kept on walkin.

You took some of mine during the journey – everything that has possibility to distract my attention towards you.
Seemed like you became more selfish to just have me for your own.
You often done things without my approvals.
Bought this, gave that, stay here, go there, etc etc.
You often overwhelmed me.

Often, you’d just smiled.

***

Now is Christmas.
I looked forward what is it that you’re preparing for me.
I was waiting.

No hint.

I’ve asked you several times, “Dude, where is my present?”

Again, you’d just smiled.

And I kept on waiting.

Until last nite, you finally reminded me that it is your birthday;
and it’s me who suppose to bring you presents!

Ouch!

You’ve hit me right in the heart!

You’re right, it is your birthday.
How could I asked the birthday man to give me presents?!
How stupid I am!

***

What do You want, Christ?
Do You want my heart? Take it.
Do You want my love? Have it.
Do You want my life? You’ve owned it.

I am Yours 🙂

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